Category: Movies

10 Cloverfield Lane But the chain, Howard, you never explain the chain.

10 Cloverfield Lane is another good example of how much better a story is that recognizes that for most “Is it this or that?” questions, the answer is “Yes.” Especially about people. It’s true and crazy, good and bad, sweet and sour. Awareness of that doesn’t just make it more realistic and complete, it expands your opportunities to make your audience anxious if that’s what you’re trying to do. And oh I do think they had that on their minds here. Yes.

At the same time, what I particularly appreciated, personally, was what they didn’t do. They generally don’t go for the easy Boo! moves, despite being perfectly set up for them over and over. No simple startles here, just the ongoing increase in ohcrapness. I didn’t recognize the cast*, apart from John Goodman (I’ll never think of shaving the same way again), but they do a fine job. And though I know that really it has nothing to do with Cloverfield, it still makes me want to watch that again.

* I should have recognized Mary Elizabeth Winstead though! Ramona Flowers! Bad popculter. Plus an album with Dan the Automator!

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice If you've seen the trailers, you can skip the movie. Seriously.

For me, the main thing about Batman v Superman is that it wasn’t about anything. You will only know and care about what you yourself bring into the theater. If you watched this film without already being soaked in American comic book lore, it would be … hmm well it would be crazy but maybe more enjoyable? Who is the guy in the blue leotard? He can fly? What the hell? And this other guy flies too? Oh that’s a dream? But there’s some kind of bat thing going here? If he’s rich why does he live in a ruin? Who’s the British guy? Why does everyone look so constipated?

Wonder Woman looks cool, I guess, but still, you’re who now? Let’s not even talk about Khal Drogo doing some kind of underwater hair conditioner commercial or whatever that was.

The B vs S fight was dumb, the way it was “resolved” was dumber. But then everything in this movie is dumb. You just cannot try and bring any kind of logic to anything that happens in it. It’s beyond reason or truth or reality. Now is the time in Syndertown when we say ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! and show our back teeth.

Allegiant If symptoms persist, see a doctor

You know, when someone asks why you are doing a stupid thing, “A leader has to make the tough calls and the hard decisions” is not actually a reason. Unless it truly is – that you genuinely followed some chain of thought like “Well, I could pay the electric bill, but bombing the utility’s office would be a tougher call so I should do that.” – which is even more terrifying than simply being an idiot. And let’s not even get into the utter bullshit of “keep you safe” or “trying to protect you”. What worries me is that this is affecting the way real people make choices in the real world. It all sounds awfully familiar.

As to the actual movie Allegiant, it’s the tire fire you’d expect. Most of the “acting” is handled by wardrobe changes. See the white pumps of bamboozled collaboration! The leads are meh, Miles Teller tries with what he’s given but you can’t pick a lock with a wet noodle, Zoë Kravitz is small and inoffensive, Maggie Q’s wig looks like it outweighs her, Kate Winslet is still glad she made them kill her off in the last one. You can see Naomi Watts’s growing horror at understanding what kind of film she’s in, which actually works for her character.

And apparently there’s another movie coming for the second half of the book? Because that is so what the world needs.